habitual sleeplessness; inability to sleep.
This has been my life the past few nights: scrolling through my phone because I have, somehow, upset my beloved lover Sleep. She has left me barren, flitting away at the unholy hours of the morning only to return in the late evening but for a few, teasing hours.
Could it be the excitement at having the children return to school? The thoughts rolling around in my head of things that need to be done in the house or just in prep for the impending school year? The new story line ideas or the insane amount of laundry I always seem to be doing but can’t do in the middle of the night because it’ll wake everyone else up (actually it might not… note to self if this continues).
Labor Day is generally a day of rest for those that labor, yet, I labor all the same because there is no rest. Yes, I am one of those awful parents that does a glorious happy dance when the children go back to school. It has been a VERY long summer. Two teenagers, a tween, and a Tyrant do not make things easy when all of them inhabit the same space no matter how big or small that space might be. I want them gone to their respective institutions of learning and I want a blessed moment of peace without someone asking me to open a juice box or take them to the mall or a friend’s house or listening to them argue over who gets to use the Playstation next.
Trust me, I am plenty involved in my children’s education and all their extra curricular activities that, in and of themselves, turn into full-time jobs on my part.
I have home projects that need doing and lists of the things that I need for said projects. I have snack sorting to do for easier lunch packing in the evening because it is just easier to grab the baggies straight out of the bins than to pour them out as needed. I have two kittens that have discovered their newly given freedom through the house at night – – and all of the wonderful things that they can knock over, leap off of, or tumble across.
I have ideas. Oh, do I have ideas! It doesn’t matter that I am in the middle of sorting out my timeline for a very complex world or assisting in putting the last touches onto the next anthology or a brand new notebook with the beginnings of a continuance of the story soon-to-be-published (because BAM had no Wi-Fi for me to use so I had to go all old school on myself). No, none of that is enough. My brain needs new ideas, new shiny pretty things to distract me from the ultimate goal of full-novel publication.
I have a book from the library that I am now reading by phone light (no, not screen light, the actual flashlight on one’s phone). At this rate, I’ll be done with it by mid-week and need to pick a new one to devour in the wee hours of the morning.
I thought, well, maybe I didn’t take my meds – except, that I did. I counted. I am not lucky enough for naps (like, at all) and there is nothing even remotely riveting about late-night television to hold my interest.
The answer is: I don’t f*ing know. Random manic episode, perhaps. Crazy burst of insanity to counteract the twinges in my back that continue to plague me, maybe. Who knows. Normally, I am more productive in these strange lapses of restorative slumber, and I have not been entirely idle. As I said, I have been reading and even did a little bit of phone-light writing. I also now have the potential to do laundry if I fancy a trip down to the main level where the cats carry out their midnight derby across my highly slippery floors.
Tomorrow the schedule returns to ‘normal’. Tomorrow, peace may resume and maybe, just maybe, sleep will return to embrace me once again. Maybe.